Falling With the Water

Well. I'm having maybe one of the worst days of my life, if not thee worst. Nothing is wrong with anyones health, nobody died, but its been a bad day for the ol' ticker on an emotional level. Soooo I obviously cant sleep, and revisited my blog upon browsing the internet for hours trying to cheer myself up. Recently I was reminded that at least one human actually reads this on occasion (Thanks Bri) and decided, that instead of pouting, I should post some pics that I took today in order to make someones day a little better than mine.



I was in Portland earlier today (and probably should have stayed) and on the drive home I did something that no one else (aside from the 300 tourists who brought every imaginable breed of dog along) did by visiting Multenomah Falls on the way home. As standard, and "typical" as it may be, the falls are absolutely gorgeous.



I took these pictures today, and I'm glad because it reminded me of how much fun I have taking pictures. It allows me to show people my life through my eyes. I've always wondered what it would be like living a day behind someone elses eyes. There are parts of my trip home that I wish not to share, such as the urgent natural restroom break on the side of the freeway (had an energy drink...couldn't wait) no one wants to witness that :)



Life is good. Sad things happen. But you can always find something to make you smile in nature. I hope to seek these things out, and share them again. And if you are having a bad day, or whenever the next one happens just realize that you're probably not alone, and things could be worse. ie: you could lose your eyesight and not be able to enjoy Gods amazing creations (or my blog...although I'm currently working on a braille version) Enjoy today, and don't let the bad things hide the amazing things that you already have, and are yet to come.

Here we go again...

First of all that is also the title to a great song and I encourage anyone on a road trip to listen to it on repeat for at least 3 hours. Whitesnake is a great band, and most likely the name of one of the gentlemen I met at the gas station in Browning, MT today while filling up. Browning is a large Indian Reservation north of Great Falls, and I don't reccomend stopping there on purpose, not safe.

Per some recent requests, I have decided to start blogging again. I have been trying to figure out what to write about, and then I remembered the original title of my blog "The Passenger Seat" I am going to start telling you about weird and awesome and boring things that happen to me while roadtripping.

In the near future I will focus on cuisine due to a recent increase in the Per Diem money that I get to spend on the road. They boosted our per diems from:

Breakfast $10
Lunch $10
Dinner $20

To...

Breakfast $15
Lunch $20
Dinner $35!? <---- Yeah, its actually hard to spend that much on a meal when you don't drink alone.

Tonight I had the Lobster special, with a potato skins appetizer and garlic bread...I ate it all except some of the garlic mashed potatoes, and my bill only came to 24 bucks.

I plan on spending about 29 bucks on each dinner and tipping 6 bucks, thats ok right?

Before I go to bed I want to leave you with my tipping proceedures. First I am a fan of H2O and I only drink water when I eat...sooooo I literally base 90% of my tipping on how well they refill my water. I LOVE water, 70% of my body loves water so much that it keeps it. Tonight I only had 2 glasses because the bartender didn't refill my water for 20 minutes...yeah...with all that food, and I got 1 refill. This would be ok if the water cup provided was decent size, but Nooooooooooo, this cup of water was similar to a shot glass for babies. Not to mention the cubes filled 3/4 of the glass. The ice cube excess actually proved valuable because in the 20 minutes when I had 0 water I was able to wait for the cubes to melt and get a small quenching each 5 minutes.

Venue: Dante's Creative Cuisine. Great Falls, MT
Food: Lobster with Garlic Mashed Taters, Potato Skins, Garlic Bread...and 2 cups of water. Grade: B+
Price: $31 plus tip
Overall Grade: B-

I don't get it

The following things are things that I just don't understand about life. I had a 4 hour drive to Montana today and had some time to ponder things that have tortured my brain as of late.

Bullet hole car decals...Some people purposely have made a life choice to spend actual money on a sticker to put on their car that makes it look like their car has been involved in some type of gunfight/bank robbery/war. The benefit of having these decals...? I don't remember ever bragging to someone and saying "I'm good bro, just workin' alot...benching about 300lbs now, and...oh yeah, been taking on alot of gunfire lately." I actually don't mind these decals that much, but I saw them on a brand new 2010 Escalade the other day and I had to pull over, find a pawn shop, purchase a weapon and actually find that car again to give them a more legitimate bullet hole look...I don't get it.

I was downtown this weekend for my annual trip to the bars, and saw 5 girls walking together on the street wearing as much fabric as my left foot was wearing. It was 22 degrees outside, and these girls were so concerned about showing as much skin as possible (in order to attract an obviously classy gentleman with pure intentions) that they were risking hypothermia. Guys are into good looking girls, true. But guys are also into smart girls. I guess its better that way because I don't have to waste time buying them a drink in order to get to know them, and their level of competence...I don't get it.

I have a gap in between my teeth...I get that. What I don't get is that my brother has perfect teeth. Furthermore, I don't get why my parents didn't get me braces. Even furthermore than that, my little sister got braces after her teeth looked like mine when she was growing up. At age 21 this was an actual conversation @ the dentist office...Mom: "They will grow together" Dentist: "No they won't" Better get Jill some braces...we don't want her ending up with Danny's grill...I don't get it.

My parents taste in potential suitors...I don't get it.

What is with the maternity style dress/shirt that every girl on the planet owns 16 of. This is going to put me in the doghouse with alot of girls, but I don't get it. I am talking about the shirts that are tight on their boobs, but then are super loose and make it look like they are pregnant. Not all girls look bad in these...In fact there are a few girls who look amazing in them, but there are certain girls that should not wear these because they are not flattering. If you are trying to attract men by wearing a certain style, I don't think the "guess if I'm preggo" style is the right choice...I don't get it.

In the history of hookups, I bet fewer than 3 have ever occured because two people parked at a stop light found each other attractive, and began a relationship based on the visible 12% of the other driver . What I don't get is, why do I still get nervous when I see a really cute girl driving next to me or at a stop light. Part of me thinks my brain/body apparently creates a fantasy pipe dream that the girl will blow a tire 24 yards down the road and I can be her knight in shining armor. Furthermore, car seats can be a real dream crusher...I don't get it.

The guy from the freecreditreport.com commercials used up his likeability about a decade ago. Please stop. Don't try to cater to different Genre's of music and make up 74 different variations of the same horrible song. Also, feel free to mix in a shower and a shave before filming next time guy...I don't get it.

Thats all I got.

New Moon!!!

For those of you who got excited because you thought this blog is about the new movie featuring werewolves and love stories (anyone without man parts) I apologize, because this blog is not about that.

This is in fact about the actual "new moon" lunar phase.

According to "real life" and the dictionary the definition of a new moon is: The moon either within conjuction with the sun or soon after, being either invisible or visible only as a slender crescent. (see below)

According to "tweens" and every girl on the planet the definition of "New Moon" is: OMG!!! Only like the best movie ever!!!! LOL, Those werewolves are sooooooo HOTT!!! (see below)



The guy pictured in above photo is either one of the worlds largest toolboxes, or an extremely wise ladies man trying to capitalize on the favorable girl/guy ratio at such gatherings. Judging by his face, I vote toolbox.


I frequently take pictures of the moon, because I think it is a pretty amazing thing, also because I have no life, and struggle to find real life women that want to spend more than 12 seconds in a row with me. This is a picture of an almost full moon that I took last winter.

Not too shabby for an amateur. A full moon and a new moon are fairly similar, except they differ by roughly 100%. A new moon essentially is when the moon is completely covered by a shadow. Here is a picture of a new moon.
Notice the lack of detail, colors, texture, and moon in this picture. In regards to entertainment:

Me outside watching a new moon = Stevie Wonder in a theater watching a silent movie...not entertaining. Sooooooo I guess "New Moon" is the perfect title for this movie.

However, if you do want to capitalize on the Girl/Guy ratio that will present itself in the movie theater in hopes of attaining a heavy petting session, or providing a shoulder to cry on while exploring anatomy with your hands...I wish you the best of luck.

Thats all I got.

P.S. Dear (Beautiful) ladies that are reading this, I actually love the Twilight series...I also love pupppies, the Notebook, and Snuggling while watching Gilmore Girls. Feel free to contact me and arrange a Twister party...while we listen to Colbie Caillat of course.

Snuggling vs. Cuddling

Snuggling vs. Cuddling

Probably the manliest topic in the history of topics. I felt inclined to address these 2 verbs, and eliminate any confusion. Apparently there are a few differences as well as similarities between these two spectacular activities.

According to dictionary.com here are the definitions of Snuggling and Cuddling, respectively:

Snuggle- to lie or press closely, as for comfort or from affection; nestle. (that sounds nice)

Cuddle- to hold close in an affectionate manner; hug tenderly; FONDLE.

These two definitions seem relatively similar until you hit the land mine at the end of the definition of Cuddling…Fondle!? Oh dear. All this time I had thought I had been executing the art of cuddling, but fondling is typically not involved in my life…by “typically not involved”, I mean never(ish).

Furthermore, America has become more accustomed to Snuggling, due to the recent creation of the “Snuggie” a friend recently told me that Snuggies, are in fact “not snuggly.” Regardless of the Snuggie compromising the integrity of the word, I am still partial to Snuggling instead of Cuddling. When I was little my great grandma gave me a teddybear with multicolored paws, and I named him “Snuggles” because he was, in fact, “Snuggly” and also because the white teddy bear from the fabric softener commercials was named Snuggles.

Now that I have completely diminished any sense of manhood that I had built up in the past 26 years, I ask you to contemplate whether or not you are a Snuggler or a Cuddler. And if you are a cute girl who needs to conduct more research on the issue in some real life situations, feel free to get a hold of me…I’m only here to help.

Random Thoughts III

Well, I came to the Service Station to do work, but I apparently suck at remembering passwords, so I can’t try to log in again for another 15 minutes, cause I entered the wrong password about 14 times, so I thought I would write down some random thoughts that have been throwing a party in my brain lately.

-I was in a hotel last week, and I HATE when TV’s don’t have a sleep timer…but more baffling than that is the fact that some TV’s actually have sleep timers that go up to 4 hours. Q: When would you need this? A: At the beginning of an 8 episode Nikelodeon GUTS marathon…Gotta get me some Agrocrag.

- I think life would be much more entertaining if cars were invisible. You would just see people floating around at incredible rates of speed in the sitting position…the bad news being you would have to wear pants at all times.

- In medicine commercials the “micro machine” fast talker that lists all the side effects must be a huge pessimist in real life.

- Why do they call it the Birds and the Bees…that makes no sense…am I a bird or a bee? Shouldn’t it be the Birds and the Birds, or how bout this…the girls and the boys. As if the sex talk isn’t confusing enough, why throw animal analogies into it. I think I’m still stuck on the Bird/Bee thing, hence me not having offspring.

- What actual color is the month of October?? I have heard of people hunting the Red version of October, and apparently there is a Blue variety of October which produces sad self loathing songs. I would like to invent Burnt Sienna October…no reason, it was just my favorite Crayola Crayon…lock it up.

-If you are in fact an “Itsy Bitsy” spider, and you are attempting to climb up some sort of spout, and it rains and you get washed down the spout…fear not, because the sun is going to come out and dry up all the rain, at which point you will be able to resume your quest through the great spout. Dear Childhood, Thanks for that worthless song. Sincerely, Danny.

- If we are to agree that “laughter is the best medicine” then technically an Anecdote, could also be considered an Antidote.

Ok…I need to get back to work. Its Friday, and this makes me happy. Hope I induced at least one smile. That’s all I got.

Wedding Rings

This is happening right now because of a disappointing event in my life recently that involved a beautiful girl, and a wedding ring or lack there of. Wedding rings have different meanings to women and men. Women get excited about them, and scream and show them off to their other girlfriends, and scream some more. To a woman, a wedding ring is a sign of love, success and happiness.

To (single) men a wedding ring is not awesome. As a single dude, I have come to the conclusion that I'm getting old, because whenever I see a cute girl, or even a girl with all 4 limbs, and at least 85% of their fingers and toes I look to see if they have a wedding/engagement ring. A wedding ring tells you that you are too late.

Rings don't just say "I'm not available" they really torture the brain. Upon confirmation of a ring, the initial feeling of "of course she's married, why wouldn't she be" sets in. But it doesn't stop there. You glance at the ring again and encounter one of two scenarios:

1) The ring is the size of a small child, and that very small child starts laughing at you saying "Ha Ha! even if she didn't have this ring, there is noooo way you could afford this classy lady, get a real job."

or...

2) The ring is so small that you almost wonder if its a promise ring from her father reminding her to stay pure...(It is never a promise ring). After you chuckle to yourself about how small the ring is, you realize that the gent who gave this girl such a small ring, must have the single greatest personality/kissing skills in the universe. This again causes you to realize that you never had a shot.

The reason for this rant stems from me actually meeting an unbelievably beautiful/smart/funny...etc. girl in Montana recently. I did the ring check, and was victorious when my eyeballs reported back that her ring finger was vacant. At this point my brain and heart threw a small party similar to that of the Y2K new years celebration. Too good to be true!...exactly. 45 minutes later I asked one of her coworkers about her, and weasled my way into finding out if she was dating anyone. "Oh yeah, she's married" (Internal Y2K party over).

Ladies. If you are married, Congratulations! I'm happy for you...but please, wear that ring proudly to both honor your hubby, and to prevent any unneccesary expenses that single men may accrue due to planning and throwing and internal party of celebration, that will burn down.

Ok, thats all I got for now...Man she was great.

Stormchasing

The other night I was on my way to work out, and then I saw some lightning, and decided to turn around and get my storm chase on. This may also explain why I am not in good shape. I tend to find non legitimate reasons to not go work out. For example "I can't...I just saw lightning"..."I can't there is a show on PBS I've been waiting for." "I can't because I'm busy blogging about how I never work out." Anyway, here are some pictures from my innaugural storm chasing evening. Enjoy.

This one is my fave. I was driving with my camera on the dashboard using an 8 second shutter speed, and there was a lightning bolt that lit up the sky ahead of me. Kind of a cool effect.
This one is similar to the one before, except no lightning, I was driving under some trees that were hanging ver the road, and it made it look like i was driving through a tunnel. Its the little things in life that make me happy.

If they Mated

I can't sleep, and usually when I can't sleep I watch Conan O' Brien one of the funniest humans alive (fact). He used to do a segment on his show titled "If they Mated" and he would take 2 celebrity photos and combine them to show what their offspring would look like. Since I cannot sleep and I love Conan, I thought I would give it a shot on my own for fun. Chris Brown, and Rihanna have been in the news alot lately. Supposively there has been some domestic abuse going on, but personally I think that they get a little crazy in the bedroom. This is a tribute to them, and this Image hopefully reflects what the human that they have been cooking up will turn out to look like based on state of the art genetic prediction imaging (me taking two pictures and fooling around with them on Photoshop while eating fat free Yoplait Peach Yogurt...yum.)

This is the happy couple before the "incident"
After several hours of "domestic abuse" AKA: Lovin' Here is what will come to fruition in roughly 9 months......

What a beautiful beautiful child...and no this is not the picture of Rihanna released by TMZ after she got abused.
I'm not trying to make light of domestic abuse by any means, I am just really bored, and trying to fall back asleep.

Freelance

Today I was driving home from Bozeman, MT sucking at life, when I saw a huge fire in the town of Whitehall, MT (population 2.4...A couple that is 3 months pregnant). Since I was bored out of my gord, and had my Camera with me I decided to become "Freelance Pecka" Here are some of the pics that I got. And a video with a minor explosion in it.

This next one is my personal favorite. The fire department for this city is all Volunteer, and the poor firefighter who was trying to put out the fire in this pic couldn't get the hose to spray further than about 6 feet. I was almost actually laughing.

Well, that was my life today...sadly I found it tremendously exciting. I also enjoyed a delicous bottle of water on my way home. Here is the nerdy video that I took too...they actually used this on the news in Butte, MT.