I don't get it

The following things are things that I just don't understand about life. I had a 4 hour drive to Montana today and had some time to ponder things that have tortured my brain as of late.

Bullet hole car decals...Some people purposely have made a life choice to spend actual money on a sticker to put on their car that makes it look like their car has been involved in some type of gunfight/bank robbery/war. The benefit of having these decals...? I don't remember ever bragging to someone and saying "I'm good bro, just workin' alot...benching about 300lbs now, and...oh yeah, been taking on alot of gunfire lately." I actually don't mind these decals that much, but I saw them on a brand new 2010 Escalade the other day and I had to pull over, find a pawn shop, purchase a weapon and actually find that car again to give them a more legitimate bullet hole look...I don't get it.

I was downtown this weekend for my annual trip to the bars, and saw 5 girls walking together on the street wearing as much fabric as my left foot was wearing. It was 22 degrees outside, and these girls were so concerned about showing as much skin as possible (in order to attract an obviously classy gentleman with pure intentions) that they were risking hypothermia. Guys are into good looking girls, true. But guys are also into smart girls. I guess its better that way because I don't have to waste time buying them a drink in order to get to know them, and their level of competence...I don't get it.

I have a gap in between my teeth...I get that. What I don't get is that my brother has perfect teeth. Furthermore, I don't get why my parents didn't get me braces. Even furthermore than that, my little sister got braces after her teeth looked like mine when she was growing up. At age 21 this was an actual conversation @ the dentist office...Mom: "They will grow together" Dentist: "No they won't" Better get Jill some braces...we don't want her ending up with Danny's grill...I don't get it.

My parents taste in potential suitors...I don't get it.

What is with the maternity style dress/shirt that every girl on the planet owns 16 of. This is going to put me in the doghouse with alot of girls, but I don't get it. I am talking about the shirts that are tight on their boobs, but then are super loose and make it look like they are pregnant. Not all girls look bad in these...In fact there are a few girls who look amazing in them, but there are certain girls that should not wear these because they are not flattering. If you are trying to attract men by wearing a certain style, I don't think the "guess if I'm preggo" style is the right choice...I don't get it.

In the history of hookups, I bet fewer than 3 have ever occured because two people parked at a stop light found each other attractive, and began a relationship based on the visible 12% of the other driver . What I don't get is, why do I still get nervous when I see a really cute girl driving next to me or at a stop light. Part of me thinks my brain/body apparently creates a fantasy pipe dream that the girl will blow a tire 24 yards down the road and I can be her knight in shining armor. Furthermore, car seats can be a real dream crusher...I don't get it.

The guy from the freecreditreport.com commercials used up his likeability about a decade ago. Please stop. Don't try to cater to different Genre's of music and make up 74 different variations of the same horrible song. Also, feel free to mix in a shower and a shave before filming next time guy...I don't get it.

Thats all I got.