Groundhog Week

The following story is entirely false, the pictures are real, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent. (Basically I took a bunch of pictures this week and wanted to show them to you, but that is boring, so I created the following fable).

Monday was Groundhog Day. A great day, but a better movie. During my travels I stumbled upon Terrance the Groundhog. Terrance looks suspiciously like a prarie dog, but he will have to work for the purposes of this story. Anyone who complains about the species of Terrance will be punched in the neck.

Terrance, (pictured above) came out of his hole on Monday to determine whether or not he could see his shadow. At first Terrance did not see his shadow and was about to condemn the Northwest to more horrific weather. But upon further inspection Terrance saw a shadow, the shadow was moving across the ground towards T-bone (Terrance) at an incredible rate. T-bone was overjoyed by seeing the shadow because he is planning a spring break trip in Cabo with some fellow lady rodents. His little heart started beating faster with excitement until it was pierced by the talons of Wilson the Bald Eagle.

Wilson had just returned from a trip to the U.S. Treasury Department in which he just signed a HUGE new endorsement with the Government who apparently plans to put his picture on 900 billion U.S. dollars that will be distributed to irresponsible financial institutions across the country. After the long trip Wilson was hungry and decided to bring some food home to the nest.

When Wilson arrived home, he realized that someone had been sleeping in his nest and suspected the notorious Goldilocks who had been accused of this weeks earlier. Wilson immediately dialed Gary the Grizzly bear who dealt with Goldilocks back in '02 and just so happens to be on Wilsons T-Mobile Fave 5, along with Charles Barkley and Dwayne Wade.

Gary picked up a blackberry and ate it (because Gary enjoys eating berrys of the black variety)...then he picked up his Blackberry mobile device and plotted the heinus murder of Goldilocks who apparently is quite permiscuous and keeps sleeping around in peoples beds. They decided to chain her to the train tracks down the road and let the humans deal with her.

The story ends here. Gary and Wilson have remained close friends and play in a weekly bowling league, Goldilocks doesn't exist anymore...not because she got ran over by a train, but because she never did (it was just a stupid story that our kindergarden teachers told us to make us afraid of bears and sleeping around), and it looks like we are going to have 6 more weeks of winter because Terrance the Groundhog is having a real hard time seeing his shadow inside of Wilson's stomach.