Treadmills

After my 3 hour drive to Missoula, Mt tonight I got to my hotel room and decided it may be a good idea to go for a jog in order to loose the ol' love handles (since they are not being loved or handled by anyone lately). The mirror in my hotel confirmed the fact that this may be a good idea, so I decided to hit up the treadmill.

I hate treadmills. I also hate it when people pronounce it "tread meal" typically the people that pronounce it this way are not frequent users of treadmills due to the fact that they subconsciously have incorporated the word "meal" into something that does the opposite of what a meal does, by removing fat from your body. It is easy to avoid these people at the gym, as they never work out at "Ate O' Clock" or "Chew Thirty"

The following formula best describes my workout this evening:

Danny + Operating Treadmill = Skin burned from my ankle.

More reasons I hate treadmills:

• I ran for 15 minutes and physically moved forward about 1 inch.
• It is worthless unless I am planning to participate in a race down a steep hill in which the sole purpose is to just keep up with the ground in order not to fall.
• By the time you trip and fall and the red emergency clip is pulled from the machine you have already lost all leg hair, .3 lbs. of skin, and all dignity.
• When I run outside there aren't mirrors to remind me that I look like a 70 yr. old man chasing after his stolen Rascal Scooter.
• My shins just exploded and ruined my new pair of Argyle socks.

In my opinion only one good thing has come from the invention of the treadmill...and here it is: