Wedding Rings

This is happening right now because of a disappointing event in my life recently that involved a beautiful girl, and a wedding ring or lack there of. Wedding rings have different meanings to women and men. Women get excited about them, and scream and show them off to their other girlfriends, and scream some more. To a woman, a wedding ring is a sign of love, success and happiness.

To (single) men a wedding ring is not awesome. As a single dude, I have come to the conclusion that I'm getting old, because whenever I see a cute girl, or even a girl with all 4 limbs, and at least 85% of their fingers and toes I look to see if they have a wedding/engagement ring. A wedding ring tells you that you are too late.

Rings don't just say "I'm not available" they really torture the brain. Upon confirmation of a ring, the initial feeling of "of course she's married, why wouldn't she be" sets in. But it doesn't stop there. You glance at the ring again and encounter one of two scenarios:

1) The ring is the size of a small child, and that very small child starts laughing at you saying "Ha Ha! even if she didn't have this ring, there is noooo way you could afford this classy lady, get a real job."

or...

2) The ring is so small that you almost wonder if its a promise ring from her father reminding her to stay pure...(It is never a promise ring). After you chuckle to yourself about how small the ring is, you realize that the gent who gave this girl such a small ring, must have the single greatest personality/kissing skills in the universe. This again causes you to realize that you never had a shot.

The reason for this rant stems from me actually meeting an unbelievably beautiful/smart/funny...etc. girl in Montana recently. I did the ring check, and was victorious when my eyeballs reported back that her ring finger was vacant. At this point my brain and heart threw a small party similar to that of the Y2K new years celebration. Too good to be true!...exactly. 45 minutes later I asked one of her coworkers about her, and weasled my way into finding out if she was dating anyone. "Oh yeah, she's married" (Internal Y2K party over).

Ladies. If you are married, Congratulations! I'm happy for you...but please, wear that ring proudly to both honor your hubby, and to prevent any unneccesary expenses that single men may accrue due to planning and throwing and internal party of celebration, that will burn down.

Ok, thats all I got for now...Man she was great.